A Twisted Fate
by Marinnai-Ruby Kasaraki
I haven't really been that honest with myself.
I mean, I was a real crazy kid back in the day, and I made a lot of
people hate me for who I was. I just woke up one morning and
found that girls didn't "do it" for me. There was nothing there
that appealed to me. Sure they were real cute and cuddly and
offered a boatload of sex for some of the other guys I hung around
with, but for me, they were friends. I wasn't so much fond of the
idea of the guys setting me up with some other chick with lowrider
jeans and see-through tops, I just felt...well...weird when I was
around them. Getting snogged felt weird, and make-out sessions
were just not my thing.
One day Andre blurted out that he thought I was gay. And I agreed
with him. I remember everyone looking at me that day like I came
from some other planet.
Life got harder to deal with after that.
Looking back on what I was and where I've ended up, something makes me
think Lonnie, from his cloudy perch up there, had something to do with
it all. He always had a knack for making things work, however
insane the idea behind it was. Looking at the lady in my arms
tonight as winter begins in Cumbria, I know Lonnie was dying to make
this relationship of ours work.
I know it was one too many drinks that got us in bed in the first place.
I met Tei when I was out raving and we became best friends as a
result. She was a lesbian, out on her ear from her god-fearing
folks. I grew to like her wild and crazy antics and she liked my
sarcastic wit. One evening, Teisia took me raving when I was down
on myself. We knocked back a few too many and stumbled home in
the dark, Cheshire probably heard the laughing and carrying on when we
arrived home and probably woke up as a result. But we heard
nothing, no complaints from the fuzzy feline when we stumbled along the
hallway to my bedroom.
She knew I was gay and I knew she was lesbian. Somehow we ended
up between the sheets and got down to some serious lovemakin'.
Waking up the next day was hard. I remember seeing Cheshire
standing in the doorway looking confused and when my head cleared up
enough, I realised Tei was sleeping naked beside me. Dear gods,
I'd never screamed like a little girl in all my life, but that
afternoon, I sure as hell did.
Coming to terms with Tei's 'little secret' between the sheets and the
fact we'd screwed each other silly for seven hours didn't make it any
easier to understand why it had happened. Tei called it a moment
of weakness. I didn't know what to call it. I put it down
to being blind drunk and so physically impaired by the effects of the
alcohol I didn't remember who it was I was with. Cheshire helped
me through it as best he could, but secretly, I think he was pleased by
the events. I'd brought home one-night stands before, and all
they were after was just that - one night of guiltless sex. I
never did find a guy who could commit to more than just one night.
Teisia could never find a girl who was interested in having a
girlfriend. Like me, it was one-nighters and guilt-free lovings,
and she wanted to wake up in bed with someone near and dear to her, not
just a tear-stained pillow.
When Cheshire and Danielle announced their intention to marry, they
asked us to be best man and matron of honor. We weren't together,
so I was a little afraid of what might be the outcome of meeting up
with the respective families. Fortunately, both sides welcomed us
with open arms, so it was a load off my back. Danielle's Dad
asked me if I had anyone as we watched Chesh and Dani dancing. I
didn't answer. I was focused on the way Teisia was trying to keep
up with the conversation of the ladies on the other side of the
hall. He saw who it was I was staring at, and simply told me that
it would work if we let go of our fears. When I turned to speak
to him again, he was gone.
I was a gutless idiot. I knew that. I couldn't get Tei out
of my head and it was killing me. What if she thought it was just
one night? What if she rejected me? What if she told me she
didn't want to see me again? I was gay, dammit. GAY.
I couldn't willingly ask Teisia if she wanted to fuck my brains out
because it just so happened she had a pair of round things AND a
shaft! What the hell was I thinking? Could I commit myself
to the idea that we'd be a fucked-up pairing as a result?
In all my thoughts, I didn't see her walking up behind me.
In the same moment she put her arms around me and nestled her head into
my back, she told me "Yes, I can commit to the idea we'd certainly have
a fucked-up relationship, but I love you and that's all that matters to
me."
I didn't want that hug to ever end.
We haven't told Cheshire and Danielle yet, nor Marie and the others in
the group. I think the Kensais are going to have a fit when they
find out. I still don't know if marriage is an available option
for those of the Void and Air Schools, knowing Mooncloak he's probably
going to smack me about the head a few times.
I don't care what the world thinks of us. It's one more ideal
that people can just get over. We love each other, regardless of
physical differences. Our sexual preferences are our own, no one
else's. Whether we're in a hetero or homosexual relationship is
nobody's business but ours.
To everyone else walking by, we're just another couple looking to start
a future together, sitting on a park bench looking up at the stars on a
wintery night.
"We're going to end up with some screwed up kids someday, Dona."
"I'm looking forward to that, m'love. I'm so looking forward to that..."
~*END*~